When I was four I had a Raggedy Ann doll and we took a trip to Mexico where she was put in a washing machine. The maid had told me to take her in the pool and I guess they decided they needed to wash the bleach out. That was the last time Raggedy Ann was seen. So on my fifth birthday, what did I ask for? I asked for another Raggedy Ann doll. And Andy would do; I’m versatile, you see. But then on my birthday, what did I get? A two-foot long cherry red fire truck. I was like, “Ohhh. Yeah. Right.” So I took that fire truck to the shed and smashed it to smithereens with a sledgehammer. Later on I did get a Raggedy Andy doll from the same woman who gave me the firetruck, but what did my mom’s boyfriend say? “This is for faggots!” And he threw it out into the bushes. The good thing about being out in the bushes, though, was that there were all kinds of wild berries. So I ate a bunch of them.